Why Did Abram Let Lot Choose the Land First?

Abram let Lot choose the land first so they would not quarrel and could remain together as members of one family. Genesis 13 tells of the two men, who could no longer stay together because of their many possessions, and of Abram’s decision to let Lot choose first. After Lot departed, God spoke to Abram about the land he could see and about his descendants.

Great Possessions Became a Source of Conflict

Abram came up out of Egypt with his wife and all that he had. Lot went with him as well. Abram went from the south country to the place between Bethel and Ai where he had previously pitched his tent. It was the place where Abram had first built an altar. There he called on the name of the LORD.

Abram had become very rich in livestock, silver, and gold. Lot also had sheep, cattle, and tents. As the possessions of the two men increased, the land could not support their staying together. In the end, the herdsmen who cared for Abram’s livestock and the herdsmen who cared for Lot’s livestock quarreled with each other.

The passage does not say that the conflict between the two men began with vague feelings. There was not enough space for them to remain together, and both sides had many livestock and possessions. Abram did not leave the situation as it was; instead, he spoke first to Lot.

Abram Said First That They Were Family

Abram told Lot that they and their herdsmen should not quarrel with one another. As the reason, he pointed to the fact that the two men were family. Abram mentioned the relationship between them and the quarrel among their herdsmen before speaking about dividing the land.

He said that the whole land was before Lot and told him to separate from him. If Lot took the left, Abram would go right; if Lot took the right, Abram would go left. Abram did not decide the direction first. He offered a way for Lot to choose first and for himself to go to the opposite side.

Abram’s proposal actually made a way for the two men to live apart. He did not merely tell the herdsmen to stop quarreling in words; he gave Lot a concrete choice that changed the situation in which they could no longer stay together.

After Lot’s Choice, God Spoke

Lot lifted his eyes and saw the whole plain of the Jordan. It was well watered everywhere, like the garden of the LORD, like the land of Egypt, as you go toward Zoar. Lot chose the whole plain of the Jordan and moved east, and the two men separated from each other. Abram lived in the land of Canaan, while Lot settled among the cities of the plain and moved his tents as far as Sodom. The passage adds that the men of Sodom were wicked, great sinners against the LORD.

After Lot had gone, the LORD said to Abram, “Lift up your eyes and look from the place where you are, northward and southward and eastward and westward.” God said that He would give the land Abram saw to him and to his descendants. He also said that He would make his descendants as numerous as the dust of the earth. Then He told Abram to arise and walk through the land, its length and its breadth.

Abram moved his tent and came to live by the oak of Mamre in Hebron. There he built an altar to the LORD. Genesis 13 does not merely recount the quarrel between the herdsmen and the separation of the two men. It also records Abram’s choice to let Lot choose first and the word of God that was given to Abram afterward.

Handing Over the First Choice in the Face of Conflict

We cannot expand this event into a command to give up our own share unconditionally in every conflict. What the passage clearly shows is that Abram did not leave the dispute alone. He said they were family, asked them not to quarrel, and let Lot choose the direction first.

One thing to do today is to offer the other person one concrete choice in the matter where the conflict has arisen. After checking the words of Abram recorded in Genesis 13, you can say, “Let’s not quarrel over this. Please choose first between these two options.” Rather than stopping at a vague resolve to get along, this is an act of giving the other person the first choice in the decision that caused the conflict.

Text Basis

• Genesis 13:1-4
• Genesis 13:5-13
• Genesis 13:14-18